The independent London newspaper

Voting for a Euro parliament? The world turned upside down…

12 April, 2019

• OWING to the inability of parliament to deliver what it voted into law by the European Union (Withdrawal) Act 2018 it looks like we will take part in elections for the next European Parliament.

Fair enough, but because the MPs are solely to blame they are responsible for the cost and should pay out of their own pockets.

Of the 73 seats allocated to the UK, 27 are being divvied up to existing member states, with the remaining 46 held for future member states, including football-loving Montenegro, so it looks like our MEPs will be without a place to sit.

Maybe they can be accommodated in the car park and proceedings broadcast by Tannoy? Possibly a trailer park they could take the wheels off in deference to their status as MEPs? A couple of shipping containers one on top of the other with senior members allocated the top one?

Just at the very time we need leadership and MPs who are decisive we get clueless dilettantes indulging themselves with something akin to a pub game called “indicative” votes chaired by the Pub Landlord. Even the very building can take no more; it sprung a leak to clear them out.

Wouldn’t it be a relief to place all this in the context it deserves? It might spare us the grim aspect of MPs taking themselves seriously when no one else does.

In the Ukraine a comedian who has played a president might well be elected president. Beppe Grillo the comedian turned politics in Italy on its head. Not forgetting that Silvio Berlusconi once found employment as a crooner on cruise ships.

Remember Arnie and Ronnie? When it comes to comedy turns is it a coincidence the Labour front bench favour Rodney Dangerfield chic: dark suit, white tie, red tie? Could it be in deference to Rodney’s masterful grasp of economics? Look this up on YouTube.

My choice for a member of the Brexit team would have been the sadly-missed Roy Jay so instead it has to be the inimitable Charlie Chuck. Better than the flibber­tigibbets currently ploughing that furrow?

Charlie was a big favourite of Cheggers: now there was someone who would have been a great Speaker. Suggestions on a postcard please.



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